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The two articles that follow will discuss the family in
Islam in the light of the Quran and Prophetic teachings. Through briefly exploring Islam’s take on the
themes of married life, respect for parents and elders, and the rearing of
children, we can begin to appreciate the benefits of the family in Islam.
Marriage is the most ancient of human social
institutions. Marriage came into
existence with the creation of the first man and woman: Adam and Eve. All the Prophets since then were sent as
examples for their communities, and every Prophet, from the first to the last,
upheld the institution of marriage as the divinely-sanctioned expression of
heterosexual companionship.[1] Even
today, it is still considered more right and proper that couples introduce each
other as: “my wife” or “my husband” rather than: “my lover” or “my
partner”. For it is through marriage
that men and woman legally fulfill their carnal desires, their instincts for
love, neediness, companionship, intimacy, and so on.
“…They (your wives, O men) are a garment for you and you
(men) are a garment for them...” (Quran 2:187)
Over the course of time, some groups have come to hold
extreme beliefs about the opposite sex and sexuality. Women, in particular, were considered evil by
many religious men, and so contact with them had to be kept to a minimum. Thus, monasticism, with its lifetime of
abstention and celibacy, was invented by those who wanted what they reckoned to
be a pious alternative to marriage and a life more godly.
“Then, We sent after them, Our Messengers, and We sent Jesus
son of Mary, and gave him the Gospel.
And We ordained in the hearts of those who followed him, compassion and
mercy. But the Monasticism which they
invented for themselves; We did not prescribe for them, but (they sought it)
only to please Allah therewith, but that they did not observe it with the right
observance. So We gave those among them
who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are rebellious sinners.”
(Quran 57:27)
The only family that monks would know (Christian, Buddhist,
or otherwise) would be their fellow monks at the monastery or temple. In the case of Christianity, not only men,
but also women, could attain the pious ranks by becoming nuns, or “brides of
Christ”. This unnatural situation has
often led to a great number of social vices, such as child abuse, homosexuality
and illegitimate sexual relations actually occurring among the cloistered – all
of which are considered actual criminal sins.
Those Muslim heretics who have followed the non-Islamic practice of
abstention and hermitage, or who have at least claimed to have taken an even
more pious path to God than the Prophets themselves, have similarly succumbed
to these same vices and to an equally scandalous degree.
The Prophet Muhammad in his own lifetime made clear his
feelings at the suggestion that marriage could be an obstacle to drawing closer
to God. Once, a man vowed to the Prophet
that he would have nothing to do with women, that is, to never marry. The Prophet responded by sternly declaring:
“By Allah! I am the
most God-fearing amongst you! Yet… I
marry! Whoever turns away from my sunnah
(inspired way) is not from me (i.e. not a true believer).”
“Say (to the people O Muhammad): ‘If you love Allah then
follow me, Allah will (then) love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’”
(Quran 3:31)
In reality, far from viewing marriage as bad for one’s
faith, Muslims hold marriage to be an integral part of their religious
devotion. As mentioned before, the
Prophet Muhammad explicitly stated that marriage is half of the Religion (of Islam). In other words, perhaps half of all Islamic
virtues, such as fidelity, chastity, charity, generosity, tolerance,
gentleness, striving, patience, love, empathy, compassion, caring, learning,
teaching, reliability, courage, mercy, forbearance, forgiveness, etc., find
their natural expression through married life.
Hence, in Islam, God-consciousness and good character are supposed to be
the principle criteria that a spouse looks for in his or her prospective marriage
partner. The Prophet Muhammad said:
“A woman is married for (one of) four reasons: her wealth,
her status, her beauty and her religious devotion. So marry the religious woman, else you be a
loser.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
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