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Islam gives children many rights and is concerned with their
spiritual, physical, and emotional well being. In the next and final part of
this series of articles, we will discuss fairness, equality, and custody
issues.
In the previous four articles, we discussed what Islam says
about children, particularly in relation to children’s rights. In this final article, we will talk about
some issues concerning children that do not, at first glance, appear to be about
the rights of children. The issues are custody, gift giving and fairness among
siblings. We will discover that the
rights of children and their best interests are embedded into all issues
pertaining to children.
Custody
The main issue in custody disputes is what is in the best
interest of the child. Ibn Qudaamah
al-Maqdisi, Islamic scholar of the 12th century said , “Custody is aimed at
looking after the child, so it should not be given in a way that will be
detrimental to his welfare and his religious commitment.”[1]
If a marriage ends and there is a dispute about who should
have custody of the children or who should financially support them; then the
solutions can be found within the teachings of Islam. Until the child reaches the age of
discernment, the mother is more entitled to custody than the father, unless the
mother remarries, in this case the custody belongs to the father. That is unless he agrees with the mother on
something that is better for their child.
Muslim scholars over the centuries have differed in their views
regarding child custody; however, they have all agreed that the child's best
interests must be the primary concern.
A divorced woman whose ex-husband was claiming custody of
their child went to Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, and said, “My womb
was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap
was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him
away from me. Prophet Muhammad said to
her, “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.”[2]
According to Islam the period of discernment is around the
age of seven or eight, at which time the official period of custody ends and
the period of kafalahor sponsorship begins. This period lasts until the child
reaches puberty at which time the child is free to choose with which parent he
or she will reside with. The choice
however is dictated by the need for certain conditions to be fulfilled.
These conditions include that the parent or guardian is a
Muslim who is able to be held accountable (i.e., an adult of sound mind etc.)
is of good character and is able to fulfill all obligations towards the child.
Maintenance however is obligatory upon the father whether
the mother is rich or poor. He is
responsible for accommodation, food, drink, clothing and education, and other
everyday needs. However, the monetary
amount is based on the father’s circumstances and means. Every situation is different.
“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man
whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what God has given
him. God puts no burden on any person
beyond what He has given him. God will
grant after hardship, ease”. (Quran 65:7)
Fairness & Gift Giving
Islam tells us that it is important to treat children
fairly. Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said, “Fear God and treat your
children fairly.”[3]
In relation to spending this means giving each child what he
or she needs. For instance, one child
may need a school uniform worth $200 while another child’s uniform may only
cost $100. Another example would be if one child is getting married and the
parents have arranged it, they should do the same for other children when they
desire to get married..
It is not permissible to show preference to one gender over
the other or to one child over the others.
This can lead to sibling rivalry, jealousy, and bad feelings within the
family. In extreme cases, it may even
lead to the breaking of family ties.
Some of the scholars are of the opinion that it is
permissible to show preference to some children in regards to gift giving under
certain specific circumstances. For
instance, it may be permissible if one of them is disabled or has a large family
or is preoccupied with seeking knowledge or if there is some other reason that
means he or she is in need of extra financial aid. It may also be permissible to withhold gifts
or money from your children if they are engaged in forbidden actions.[4]
Sheikh IbnUthamien, noted Islamic scholar of the 20th
century said, “If a parent granted one of his children financial remuneration
to fulfill a necessity, such as a medical treatment coverage, the cost of a
marriage, the cost of initializing a business, etc., then such a grant would
not be categorized an act of injustice and unfairness. Such a gift will fall under the right to
spend in the essential needs of the children, which is a requirement that a
parent must fulfill.
"Be just: that is nearer to piety; and fear God.”
(Quran 5:8)
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Islam gives children many rights and is concerned with their spiritual, physical, and emotional well being. In the next and final part of this series of articles, we will discuss fairness, equality, and custody issues.
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