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If the husband and wife enter into the marriage with the
right intention of pleasing God and pleasing each other, recognizing their
roles and responsibilities in the marriage and treating each other with proper
Islamic behavior, God willing, their union will be a blessed union that will
stretch from this life into the Hereafter.
Having said what was just said about marriage, Islam,
though, is also a practical religion. It
takes into consideration all possible common scenarios. It is possible for a man and woman to enter
into a union with good intentions yet their personalities and likes simply do
not coincide with one another. There are
times in which a good marriage simply cannot be achieved and the spouses enter
into a state of misery. Under such circumstances,
Islamic law allows for an end to the marriage and their suffering.[2] The goal is to either stay together in a
friendly manner or to separate in a goodly manner. Thus, for example, God says:
“And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled
the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis
or set them free on reasonable basis…” (Quran 2:231)
God also says:
“Then when they are about to fulfill their term appointed
[bringing an end to the divorce], either take them back in a good manner or
part with them in a good manner…” (Quran 65:2)
Obviously, divorce is not a desired goal or a light
matter. In a perfect world, all married
couples would be in bliss. However,
there are times in which this option is the best for all parties
concerned. Thus, the option of divorce
is in accord with the overall goal of preserving the family—it is not simply
quantity, though, such that all marriages always stay in tact, that is desired
but quality.
The Children
It is clear from many verses in the Quran that having
children is considered a blessing from God.
Hence, God says while recounting some of his blessings upon humankind:
“God has made for you wives of your own kind, and has made
for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good
provision. Do they then believe in false
deities and deny the Favor of God (by not worshipping God Alone).” (Quran
16:72)
Thus, one finds the prophet Zachariah praying to God that He
bestow upon him children (Quran 3:38). In
addition, having children is something known to be beloved to parents. Thus, God says:
“Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this
world...” (Quran 18:46)
At the same time, though, every parent must realize that
having children is a great responsibility and trial from God. God has said:
“Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas
God—with Him is a great reward (Paradise).” (Quran 64:15)
God also says,
“O you who believe, guard yourselves and your families from
the Hell fire whose fuel is men and stones…” (Quran 66:6)
The meaning of this verse was reiterated by the Prophet
Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, when he said:
“All of you are shepherds and all of you will be asked about
your wards... The man is responsible for
his household and will be asked about his responsibilities. The wife will be asked about the house of her
husband and her responsibilities.”[1]
Islam, therefore, fills the human with appreciation for
being blessed with a child while at the same time realizing that this child is
a heavy responsibility. The parents must
care for the child and bring the child up in the best possible manner, trying
to protect the child from the Hellfire.
Muslim scholars consider that the rights of children appear
long before they are even conceived, via the selection of a pious and righteous
spouse. This is the first step in
providing a good household and environment for the child. Around the time of the child’s birth, there
are other important obligations, such as giving the child a good name and
offering an animal sacrifice on the child’s behalf.[2] Beyond that, the most
important rights of the child include:
(1) being maintained
and provided for in a healthy manner;
(2) being taught the
tenets of the religion;
(3) being treated
with compassion and mercy;
(4) being just among
multiple siblings; and
(5) having a good
example set for them by their parents.
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