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Muslims still recognize and acknowledge the great
destructiveness that pre-marital and extra-marital relationships have on
communities. In fact the Quran makes
clear that the mere accusation of impropriety carries very severe consequences
in this life and the next.
“And those who accuse chaste women, and do not produce four
witnesses (to unequivocally prove their accusation), flog them with eighty
stripes, and reject their testimony forever; for they are truly wicked
sinners.” (Quran 24:4)
“Verily, those who slander chaste women, innocent,
unsuspecting, believing women: they are cursed in this world and the next. And for them will be a great torment.” (Quran
24:23)
Ironically, while it is unmarried women who perhaps suffer
most from the consequences of promiscuous relationships, some of the more
radical voices of the feminist movement have called for the abolition of the
institution of marriage. Sheila Cronin
of the movement, NOW, speaking from the blinkered perspective of a fringe
feminist whose society is reeling from the failure of the traditional western
marriage to grant women security, protection from sexually transmitted
diseases, and many other problems and abuses, opined: “Since marriage
constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must
concentrate on attacking this institution.
Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage.”
Marriage in Islam, however, or rather, marriage according to
Islam, is in and of itself a vehicle for securing freedom for women. No greater example of the perfect Islamic
marriage exists than that of the Prophet Muhammad, who told his followers: “The
best of you are those who best treat their women. And I am the best of people to my
women.”[2] The Prophet’s beloved wife,
A’isha, attested to the freedom her husband’s treatment afforded her when she
said:
“He always joined in the housework and would at times mend
his clothes, repair his shoes and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether and feed his animals
and do household chores.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent
example to follow for whoever hopes in Allah and the Last Day and remembers
Allah much.” (Quran 33:21)
Parenting
One of the reasons that the Islamic family works is because
of its clearly defined structure, where each member of the household knows his
or her role. The Prophet Muhammad, may
the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said:
“Each of you is a shepherd, and all of you are responsible
for your flocks.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
The father is the shepherd over his family, protecting them,
providing for them, and striving to be their role model and guide in his
capacity as head of the household. The
mother is the shepherd over the house, guarding it and engendering in it the
wholesome, loving environment that is necessary for a happy and healthy family
life. She is also the one who is
primarily responsible for the children’s guidance and education. Were it not for the fact that one of the
parents assumed the leadership role, then inevitably there would be perpetual
disputation and fighting, leading to family breakdown – just as there would be in
any organization which lacked any single hierarchical authority.
“God puts forth a similitude: a (servant) man belonging to
many partners, disputing with one another, and a man belonging entirely to one
master. Are those two equal in
comparison? All the praises and thanks
be to God! But most of them know not.”
(Quran 39:29)
It is only logical that the one who is naturally the
physically and emotionally stronger of the two parents is made head of the
household: the male.
“…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar
(to the rights of their husbands) over them - according to what is
equitable. But men have a degree (of
responsibility, etc.) over them…” (Quran 2:228)
As for the children, the fruits of their parents love, Islam
lays down comprehensive morals enjoining parental responsibility and the
child’s reciprocal dutifulness to its parents.
“And treat your parents with kindness. If one or both of them attain old age in your
care, never say to them a word (suggesting) disgust, nor reproach them, but
address them with reverent speech. And
humble yourself out of mercy before them, and pray: ‘My Lord!
Be merciful to them for having cared for me in my childhood.’” (Quran
17:23-4)
Obviously, if the parents fail to inculcate the fear of God
within their children from an early age because they are themselves heedless,
then they cannot expect to see righteous gratitude returned to them. Hence, God’s severe warning in His Book:
“O you who believe!
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is
men and stones.” (Quran 66:6)
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